Casglwyd a golygwyd yr hanes llafar hwn gan Ganolfan Adrodd Storïau George Ewart Evans fel rhan o brosiect Straeon Bawso.

Mae prosiect Storiau Bawso yn brosiect partneriaeth arloesol rhwng Canolfan Adrodd Storïau George Ewart Evans (Prifysgol De Cymru), sefydliad cymorth arbenigol Bawso ac Amgueddfa Cymru. Ariannwyd y prosiect hwn gan Gronfa Dreftadaeth y Loteri Genedlaethol.

Mae caniatâd wedi'i roi i'r stori hon gael ei rhannu

a. Yn archifau a chasgliadau Amgueddfa Cymru
b. Ar wefannau, e.e. Casgliad y Werin Cymru, Bawso, Prifysgol De Cymru, Amgueddfa Cymru, etc.
c. Ar gyfryngau cymdeithasol, e.e. Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, ac ati.
d. Mewn cyhoeddiadau ysgrifenedig, e.e. adroddiadau prosiect, erthyglau cyfnodolion, ac ati.
e. Mewn unrhyw ddefnydd arall yn unol â nodau ac amcanion y prosiect

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Cyfweliad gyda Angel (Storiau Bawso)

Hyd: 0045:00

[Trawsgrifiad ar gael yn Saesneg yn unig]

So thank you again, coming back in for a second time. Yeah, just really grateful to have you here. So my first question is, can you tell me about your experience of coming to Wales?

Oh, my experience coming to Wales. It's really nice to place this one Wales, especially where I live right now, and the town that where I live right now, it's, it's more of a family-oriented community, family-oriented place. You have the access, you have easy access to the beautiful beaches here, you have easy access to, I mean, where I am is in town, I could easily access everywhere I want to go. Yeah, and that is more important than because I'm a single mom, I don't drive so that is really essential to me as well, to roam around without being restricted or being deprived of where you want to go, bringing your child to different places is to explore and to learn. You know, heritage and culture here as well. Yeah.

So is that different from other places you've lived in terms of being able to walk around.

In where I lived before in Dubai, there you have, you have, you have also freedom there. Dubai is not like the other country that they said. You are deprived to do something. No, Dubai is an open country also, so you are able to do, but it's different when Dubai is a more desert place, but this one, it's, you know, I've now understand the balance of me living in a desert place, and then coming down here in Wales, where you got, the beautiful thing about this, I always joke with my friends, the beautiful thing here, you got the four season in one day. You got the sunny day, you got the rainy day, you got the windy day, you got the autumn, except the winter, but you get the autumn, the sunny and the spring in just one day here in Wales.  You got the sunny, you got the rain, you got the wind. So you can't ask for more for that and you want to go to you want to go to the beaches. So it's nice, it's accessible. You want to go to by bus. For me, it's very it's very important to me that I'm able to explore different places in, in my own comfortable time, in my own in my own way, that I don't have to rely with the with me driving, looking for parking. You know, it's very, very essential for me as a mother to bring my child accessible to these different places that she able to learn, also to manoeuvre in the country, you know, growing up and she would able to manoeuvre on her own, use the public transportation, and learning about the places here. That's one thing for me. It's really important, yeah.

Is there anything else you'd like to tell me about your experience of coming to Wales?

My experience to Wales when it comes to culture, Wales, peoples are very, I say talkative. You know, they very friendly, not talkative in a bad way, but talkative, you know, when you try to communicate, they will inform you in a way they can. They're very accommodating. Yeah, that's the difference my experience and also my experience in some Midlands places, they see you as your colour. But here I feel more safer here, I feel more freedom here, that's the really important thing, that I can express myself here. I don't feel like, like, how you say, I don't feel like I, I'm reserved, you know, I reserve and like I'm being aloof. No, here, able to say what I like to say, I'm able to express what I liked it, you know, I'm able to showcase my talent here, able to showcase my painting here, and they are embracing, you know, simple painting. They accept it, put it. And that's, that's the place, that's the only place that I've done what's called this one. I've experienced that kind of, kind of, you know, it puts you like, like you are included, you know, not an outcast. That's, that's the right term. You feel included in the community, not an outcast. Yeah.

That’s so nice to hear.

Thank you. 

Really glad that's your experience. Yeah, that's really, really kind of magical to hear, actually. Yeah, you mentioned painting, some painting. Could you tell us more about that?

Oh, I do some painting, and I showcase it to different painting, painting gallery that they did, they do exhibit there. Some of my painting got sold, but this time I said, I don't want it to be sell. I don't want it to be in auction. What I wanted right now is that I wanted people to see this one, to see more people to see it, not just one person who could have it. I'm glad somebody liked my painting, but this time, I wanted more to be reaching people's, you know, to see the different culture or background with my painting. So they've learned that this is, this is what, they can picture what is in my painting. Yeah, for example, if I paint the beautiful scenery of a rice field, the beautiful scenery of a sunset on the rice field. So they would, they would picture that, that this person, because it's because. I know selling a painting is nice, but I wasn't thinking, it's a part of me. It's an extension of me. Those painting that I have is an extension of me. So I wanted to be displayed only, but so a lot of people could see it. Not just one person in their house could see it. I understand that I appreciate it, that they like their painting and but I want it now, this time, I've learned I don't want selling it. I don't want the value of the money anymore. I want it more reaching people, you know.  Because one time I was in the background, I was in the gallery, and there are people there that was standing in my painting, and I was there, they didn't know who was the painter of that, so I was just on the back, and I said, most of my paintings said Angel, so it's anonymous. So they said, oh, this painting is so vibrant. The colour is rich, they said, and this, like the person who paint this one has a lot of has a lot of colour, you can feel. They said you can feel the vibe of this person with this greenery colour, and then this silhouette sunset on the painting. And they said, you can feel the person. You can understand the person feeling with this one. So I was on the back listening to this one, and they said, it's refreshing at the same time, it makes you think differ on that painting. So I said, and then I said, so it gives them something like you know, something to think, you know, I remember the girl said, when that painting was being showcased. And then I said, I think it was, I forgot the date, but I'm pretty sure that on that time that painting, when that painting was, was being shown, I said to myself, now I will, I don't want to sell it. Because see the how is like, I see the painting. They, they take the part of the paint. How you say? I don't know how to explain that, but it's like they the person looking on your painting. They captivated by your feeling. So it not this, only the painting, but they feel you. That's one thing that I've never thought that they could feel to my painting. They could feel the first, the one who painted it, and she was right when she said, this person was having these two painting together, the green scenery and the lush of this painting, and then the sunset it she, she have this, this positive thing of the better future. And yet she have this, she have this painting of, you know, of what this one of her, of her mind, you know, so I said, how on earth they, they could think on that way. I mean, in some of the painting that they could analyse, that's the right word to my painting, they could analyse the feeling of the painter, or how she was trying, or what she was feeling when she's painting it.  Because that was true, I paint, because me, when I feel sad, my granddad, me and my granddad. And if I, for example, come on, if I got scolded by my mom, or if my mom doing something, or my dad doing something, and they want to, you know, and then my daddy said, come on, come on. Don't mess with your dad. Let's do painting. Or don't get upset. Let's do painting now. So that's what's exactly, what they make me the reason why I start painting is that when I feel upset or when I want to boost to my mood, I go in painting, then I feel relaxed, then I feel better, then I, then I, then my mood change. Then I can express myself on the painting, then I'm not things that I'm not able to say, I'm able to speak, I'm able to do it on my painting. It's like it's an extension of my thought. My painting is extension of my thought. That exactly how I do painting. That's why, this time I tell to them I don't want to sell it. It's just, I want people to see that and reach that and see interpret how they want to interpret it, and if they see good in it. And then I want them to see the good in it and apply it to them, you know, yeah.

Beautiful.

Thank you.

I'm so curious to see one of your paintings. Yeah, wonder if I can see one.

This is the one that was been displayed.  This is the one that been sold. This is the one that was been sold, that one, but I show it to you where it was been I think I take picture of it. And I do abstract as well. Abstract is when I wanted my daughter to paint, and I wanted to learn the abstract way. This one, and when it was the first time they said that invited me to paint for it, I, to display for it. I said oh, I don't think so. It's the, you know, it will be like, good to sell or like that. And she said to me, oh, good to, I don't know somebody would like, like to see it. No, no, no, just put it in. And I've never thought it would be like sold. I was even shocked that it was been sold. Got lots of picture, but I could find it and most of it, the two that was in the exhibit. I screenshot it; I remember I screenshot it, and some of the paintings also that I did is I give it, I make it as a gift. 

I'm wondering with the, you just told me about painting and why you like painting, and what painting gives you.

So, this is some of my paintings, this one, this one's and this one, and there's another one, but this is what the one back home.  Oh, before I left, I did some painting there, but the one that I, I paint here when I, when I stay in Wales. This one, yeah, so that's the one when I stood that was exactly where it was placed. So I was behind them, and I was listening to their conversation when they looking at this one. So she said, you see the rich colour of this, you know, and then next to it, you see the person who was feeling of this one having this silhouette picture, the silhouette the painting. She was the one when she said to me, when you are free, can you send me a text to go with the picture? Yeah. So, because when I said, but I wanted it, I wanted it on the back of the painting. I said, but I don't want it to be in the painting, in front of the painting, but I wanted to be in the back of the painting. So that's my logo there. It's an angel. My name is then, then the angel ring, yeah, so that's, that was the one that I was standing and then, oh, she, they, how on earth they would analyse because you can see two different, the rich, vibrant colour of the green, you know, and then this one. But when I explained this to them, this is the rice field of my grandad, this is the rice field where I grew up. And this is this tiny house. Is the rice field on that so people were, after their work, after they're doing all the rice field working. They stay on that one. They drink, they dance, they play guitar, they watch that sun, you know they watch the silhouette because that were exactly where the, where you can see the sun goes down, that exactly the place where that house, that nipa house, is the located. And that exactly when I paint this one, I picture of my granddad. I picture the time that I've spent with my granddad, and the place that he gave to us that, you know this, this is the land that he gave to my parents, you know, from my ancestral so when this one, when I stood here, said, what they when they asked me, what was the what was the concept of the painting? You have to give me what was said? No, we want you to showcase a place where you are, where you are, like your happy place, or like your memorable place. And then that's what I that's this is the painting that I did on that time that I said, this is where my childhood mostly, and my whenever, whenever, not my whole childhood, but whenever I go to the province with my granddad. This is where the happiest place that I have stayed in the province, with my granddad that's exactly the one said. So this, this silhouette people staying there, people, those farmers staying there just to drink and sip their coffee, or their native the, you know, native liquor, Tuba, just to watch this one, and lost in the space, you know, lost in time. And then they just go home with relaxing, with feeling even the whole day work. But seeing this kind of scenery after work and having just a simple food, and they go home, relax. They're not tired. They're able to feel comfortable, able to bring happiness in their home. You know that exactly how I feel because they go home, they get a little bit drunk. They laughing. The wife sitting next to the husband. My grandma was sitting next to my granddad, just watching and talking, you know, playing the guitar and all that stuff. So it's really, really one of the place that, if I think, or if I look at this it makes me, it makes my heart, like, filled with air. You know, that's how I could say it. It's like, I was filled of air. You know, whenever I look at this one, I feel happy. I feel fond about it, yeah.

That's wonderful.

Oh, thank you.

One of my questions was, can you describe a place or a time in your life that's important to you, this feels like…

Yeah, it's one of the important and then it's very ironic, because they said, what is the most, one of the most important place to you. I always say it's home, you know, home, because I always think that, I've never come from a broken family. So I've grew up with a family, though I've came from an, you know, arranged marriage. But before that happened, I grew up in a house that I have my mom, I have a dad, you know, I go I wake up in the morning. I have my mom, and I have my dad. I know my dad was working for, but I know I have a family. That's really one thing for me, you know, very important thing to me that I grew up with. I have a home, and I have a family, yeah.

So what does home mean to you now? Is it still that memory of being younger, or when you think of home? Do you think of where you live now, or?

To be honest with you, I still think of back home as my home, but at the moment we are, we are living here. I pick it because I said my second home is Dubai, and now that I live here because Dubai never, never did the, I've never had the bad, bad bread with Dubai. I've always loved I've always wanted to come back there and go back there, but right now where my daughter is, where our home now, you know where we're starting to have our home. It's like we're starting to have a life again. You know, we have a home, we have a family, but now it's like you're building your new home again. You know Wales for me is also, I could consider it as a comfortable home for me as well. You know that is also Wales for me. I feel, I told you, I feel I don't feel outcasted here.  I feel like I'm included. I feel like important, especially when, when they say, oh Angel, we are going to have an exhibit and one of your painting was being chosen to put in there. You know, like they don't need to do that one. You know, they don't, but you know, to feel included in something. It's like, it make your heart fond, isn't it, you know, it makes, it's, it's, makes you give good mood. You know that's, that's because I did painting, but I put my painting on the in to give it to a friend or give it to I don't really keep some of my paintings. But when I came to Wales, I didn't know Wales or England, the whole England loved art. I didn't know that one. The whole, especially Wales, they have an art museum here. I didn't know that one that I have. I that one of my painting was been chosen, and then one of some of my painting was been sold. I never thought of it, you know, that, Oh, I could be I could my painting could be included, you know, I thought it's just for the big, you know, big people who have like, though I don't use the I don't use oil painting. I use acrylic, you know, some people, they said oil painting is more valuable, you know, but me using acrylic painting, and then people able to appreciate it, and when I do the texture painting, and people said that when they feel it, they feel the hand of the painter. And that's, that's what makes me, my heart, you know, fun, like, Oh, my Lord. How on earth they could do my painting. They could express the and they could explain or they how I feel, or what they see through my painting, so they could like, it's like the soul, you know, it's like, if all my painting is they look to my soul. They look at their inner part of you. That's how I feel about it. Because it's not only one time, two time that I'd stand behind my painting, and some people were standing on it and they said, Oh, it's somebody would like, is this for sale? Is this for sale? So no, it wasn't included in the sale. Yeah. And then one of my painting was, it was in the big wall, but my painting, they put it on the middle, because the story stands, the story of that that painting stands. So I was, I was really shocked that they've picked that one. And I said, I feel privileged and I feel honoured that all the big painting, it was my painting that was been put in the middle, because the story of it was captivating, yeah, and that one of that one was sold in auction, and that was been taken that's why this time I want it not. I'm not going to sell it. I just let people enjoy to look at it, yeah.

That's amazing. I'm wondering if you remember from last time that with this interview, there'll be one long recording.

Yeah.

So someone, I'll edit me out now for example. So if someone can just hear your long story, like, you know, your long version, yeah? But then I'll also take some small bits out to make something called a digital story.

Yeah.

Which, if you come on the 19th we'll be showing some of those. And that's a type of storytelling where you have some images and then you have the person's voice on the video. And I think it would be wonderful if we could have a picture of some of your paintings.

Sure, sure.

To have as the image and then you talking about the audio would be you talking about what painting means to you.

Yes, yes, definitely.

And how important it is to be included, because your message is that everyday people need to be included in the arts.

Yeah, exactly.

You know and making space and how rewarding it can be.

It is, it is.

Helping to get your identity back.

Yeah, it is, it is, actually, that's what I said, that I feel like I'm starting to be whole again through my painting. And to do it, I could express myself, and people who look at it see straight through to that. And they could like, I don't understand how I explained it, but the way they see it, and the way I stand on the back of them, and the way they talk of it like they could see can see through your soul, like they can just feel you from your painting. And that's magical for me, that how a painting could boost one, could boost one, one feeling, or could boost one thought. And could go into the deeper thought of somebody, because if you just don't, it's just a painting, you know, it's just painting. But some people have a deeper thought when it comes to painting, and that other people are those people that talking about the painting, that people don't appreciate the art, the painting you know different arts. So those people who could explain the art on that and give their personal opinion, personal perspective of that painting is, it's like having a window of the personality of the painter. They can assess they can, like, they can picture that on, on how the painter could feel. And then it like some, because it said, this one lighten your mood, and this one like gives you in a deeper thought. Because what exactly the lady said, this painting of a silhouette gives you in the deeper thought of the painter. If you could look on the picture, she said to me, as she said to her friend that it's like she is, you know, the person who paint this one isn't it's very rich and deep thought. With her colour combination, the colour combination that you she used, is also different. With the rice field, the combination of the colour is totally different. I said, Oh, maybe these people are really they are used of looking on the painting, because very, very rare you see the comment. You see comment like that on the painting of anyone could comment on the painting, but that to a specific person. I wanted to, I wanted to come to them, you know, I wanted to approach them, but I just, I could, I just asked that I have to, you know, hold myself because they would know as I wanted to be. I wanted to be anonymous with all the painting, I wanted to. That's why I never put my real name on it. I just put Angel on it. Yeah. So that's, that's really, that's really one thing that I've ,I wanted, that you can. It's either you can see different meaning. There's always different meaning in painting, it's not just that paint and like that, it's just a picture, no, even some photographs, because I love photography. I do. I did study photography for six months, but I only finished three months because when my ex-partner died, but I said in photography also, I like the subject, like silhouette, like landscape, same. See when I do my painting, I like it to be silhouette, and I like it to be silhouette and landscape and rice field or anything that landscape.  And so, my photography it's the extension of my painting, like I also wanted to capture from my lenses, the scenery of silhouette. And I have one here, but that picture. I kept it because it captivate me also. I think it's still here. It's in one of my don't know if it's here. This one is one of that.

That's lovely.

That's one of that. And that one.

Oh, that's lovely, yeah, that's beautiful. And where is that?

That was in the island of Malapasqua. They all, this is all, yeah.

In the Philippines.

Yes, in the Philippines that's when I took photo of this one. I have also few, but I think it's on my memory stick, yeah. But this one, I've this one is memorable to me, because those people that was the swimming. That one is, it's my children. You know, there are my family, my daughter. This is my daughter. That's there, and then my son was over there. So when I take this one, so nobody knows who were that but you see, the boat you see. But one thing you're going to think of, who was the person in that you know, like, who were those person and you see the catching people in the sun, what you call, the sunset, and the rays goes to the water, and then wondering those people were in this picture had a real people, you know, that's the one thing that from the photography. You're catching real people. Your story is real. You know that day is real. You can't lie about photography that when you captured it. You know that that day it was real. That day it was happened. So that's what, exactly what I'm telling that I catch this when, when this person, when the person is that is my family. So I also, I also paint one of this one, but I put it on my, my mom's house. But it was banished by the it was banished by the Yolanda. You know, when the typhoon reach Yolanda.

Right, yes.

So that's why I repost it on my Facebook like profile picture, because I've lost that painting. So I said it's okay, because I still have the picture of it, but I might lost the painting. I might lost the picture, but I have the original picture of it. That's why I keep as my profile picture. Yeah.,

So you told me a bit about how painting makes you feel. When you're doing photography, how does that make you feel?

It's the same, actually, it's the same. It's just that when you do it, when you capture it from the lens, you are caught on that time, when you are on the painting, you are, you have your mind’s…And I, what to call this one. Your space is wild. You don't have when, when you catch in the photography, you just focusing on that specific with your lens. But in the painting, you are, your space is unlimited. It's, it's like the universe. You know that you can put everything on your painting. Unlimited. No, there's, there's no, there's no, nothing. You know you can continue putting it. You know, in [photography], once you're captured, that's it. That's it. You cannot edit it. You cannot put and you deal. I know you can photoshop it, but what I mean is to see the real picture, to showcase the real picture. That's it. You capture that moment, but in painting, you have very wide imagination, your imagination is unlimited. It's you can just paint and this, they call it, your brain is an ocean, you know. So you have an oceans of idea inside your brain that coming out to your painting. That's why they said it's very it's almost days I know the word it takes someone to know. It's it takes someone to know someone, or it takes someone to know one, or it takes someone to know, it takes one to know someone, or it takes one to know one.

Exactly.

Yeah, those were catching phrases. So people who see on the painting and they able to explain or to get into the statement of the painting captured it as the statement of the painter it, it gives you so somebody could understand my thought that you are not alone, or you are, you are not. It's not you, or they may call it, it's not just only you. You know you. Somebody there understand your thought. Somebody there could understand you. That's exactly what I what I think of it. You know, it's even in photography, somebody there could officiate your photography, somebody there could see the value of your photography. But in painting, no, it's, it's unlimited. It's an ocean of it's an ocean of thought. It's unlimited, unlimited ideas that you can put into that, and you can get out of your brain and write it, do it in reality. That's why I said painting is the extension of your brain, of your inner personality, of your inner thought, that you're putting it to somebody get the part of your inner thought like, that's how deep painting for me. Yeah, it's you let them feel, or you let them into your inner thought.

It's wonderful. It's wonderful to talk about art and also hear how, you know, how important is to you and how it makes you feel. I'm just wary of the time and your pickup time. But maybe to wrap up, you could tell me what your hopes are for the future.

Oh, my future hope is that, you know, I'm able to manifest a good, a greener pasture, able to provide a good future for my children. I know my childrens are big, but I still have to, so I wanted to be I just, I just like that. I would be healthy to see them growing up until, until the time that you know, they could have their own family to guide them. Now, that's my thought. And then when it, when it's for my career, I wanted to just take it slowly. Whatever is available for me to do. I would do it and I would start. I wanted to start higher and higher and higher. And also with my painting. I would continue doing it. I would continue things that I would things that would make me feel alive, happy and positive and you know, like, how you say, boost your personality and boost your boost your confidence, yeah, that I wanted to see. You know that, that you can still do it. You know you can you still have it. You know, nothing can stop you reaching your goal and making your dream come true. That's, I'm really looking for the future, that I will be stable with my job. I will be I know I was able to be stable to have a good connection with my children, my two, my two young children. So that exactly I'm looking forward for my health as well, that just be healthy, that able to be a, you know, just for everybody, you know, at least I'm healthy for my all, for my whole family. I'm able to continue helping them, you know, guiding them, yeah, that's I really, that's the things that really matter to me, is my family, you know, because I think, I think I would be nothing without my family, and I would be nothing without, without them, without me. Me being, being present to their life. I think that's the essence of being a mother as well, you know, presence to their children's life. So I wanted to be that that way. And I always said I wanted to, I wanted to have to have a clean living so that my children would see that one as well, that my mom have a good, clean living, you know, you don't take vices, you don't smoke, you don't drink. Occasionally, you does the drink, you know. But you know, they see their mom like then they have the set the standard in their life. I want them to see, to see their mother, who strive, who's not big, who's a fighter, who, who is, you know, loving, who is caring, who is like, wrapped in all, in one. And I am, I am there to be, to be a, you know, a guiding foundation for them. That's exactly what I like.

Beautiful

Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Is there anything else that you'd like to share, or you feel is important for us to know before we finish?

Now being here in UK and being allowed to work here is very important that people, people here to know that British people, are very embracing. It's not that, it's not, I don't feel they said there is, there is like individual. They call it different individuality. We have different individuality. But to British people to embrace different, different culture and different nationality coming here, and they are being accommodative to the people here, like me, that I'm able to study here, to work here, to live here. You know, it's one thing that I have a big, huge respect with the British people that they are not closing their doors even some of the government is trying, but still, they are very lenient, and they're very open, open arms, you know, welcoming people who wants to live here decently, to look for a better future. And that's one thing I'm very grateful and thankful that I'm able to live here even so circumstances to change. But that one thing that I want, I want people to understand that British people are, are what are blessed to have this country as their own, and maybe, maybe they don't see that one but me, as a coming from a third world country, it's a privilege to be here and to have the same right that you cannot have in the other country.  It’s one thing that I am truly blessed and truly thankful grateful for that opportunity to live in this country. You know, to be able to be a citizen here, and to able to become a part of this country is something that I would be grateful for all my life, and me and my daughter being protected in this country. I know that we're protected here. I know that that the law here, they serve the law here, and they protect the law here. It's one thing that I can sleep peacefully in the night. I thought before I couldn't do that one because I said, Oh, this is other country. They may be protect their own kin, but no, it's at the I'm the living proof for myself that I could speak to that. British people are blessed to have this country as itself for them. So I'm really honoured and glad that I'm able to stay in this country legally, you know, and they got me to stay here with my daughter. Legally, not all, not all are given the chance, but I am the one of them that was given the chance, and I'm thankful and privileged for that. Yeah.

We're lucky to have you.

Thank you.

I’d say we’re lucky to have you.  Okay, that was really wonderful.